


The Unicorn And His Revolutionary.

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: A Thousand Words, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Unicorns, Because #yuletide, Canon Era, Crack, Ethical Quandaries, Magic Soul Bonds, Shameless, Soul Bond, Unicorn!Grantaire, Unicorns, Virgin!Enjolras, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 18:51:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/677704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Enjolras is still a virgin and Grantaire is his unicorn of destiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unicorn And His Revolutionary.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [voksen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voksen/gifts).



> For voksen, who said: _although if someone writes the one where grantaire is a drunk ass apathetic unicorn and enjolras is his virgin I'll read it_.

Enjolras worries that this isn't the way it's supposed to go. Yes, unicorns are important symbols of the revolution, and yes, it's lucky to have one on your side, but shouldn't his unicorn of destiny be more...

He frowns.

The unicorn is a unicorn of the people, he reminds himself sternly. Ingrained prejudices have no place in their revolution. All men are his brothers, and all unicorns are his friends. Even ones like Grantaire. The fault isn't in Grantaire for being how he is, it's in Enjolras for finding him wanting.

Grantaire, for his part, nuzzles deeper into the wine cask.

"I don't think this is how it's supposed to go," Enjolras ventures.

"How would you know?" Grantaire asks telepathically and Enjolras winces. The first time, he had clutched his head at the unexpected sensation, but he has not been so rude since then. Everyone says he'll get used to it, that though the first few times will hurt, he will learn how to relax into it and accept it without pain. Enjolras has always suspected that his friends were merely mocking his enforced virginity, and he sees no reason to be less suspicious now. He hardly sees how he is going to get used to this penetration. Repeated attempts may make him more flexible and accepting of the intrusion, but this is hardly something one gets used to! The bond constantly throbs when Grantaire speaks and he can feel every word Grantaire says reverberate through his body.

And the worst part is Grantaire didn't have to stop slurping from the cask to speak with him. He really is making a horrible mess.

"You're making a horrible mess," Enjolras says.

"Yes, I know, I can hear you judging me," Grantaire says, and Enjolras is ashamed.

"I sincerely beg your pardon, citizen unicorn," Enjolras says.

He has kept himself pure and apart, abstaining from all vices, so that he might attract the attentions of a unicorn, but now he wonders if, in his pursuit of being judged worthy of the honor, he had missed something very important. Troubled, he realizes he must examine his motives. Having a descendant of the great Pegasus fight on their side would be a sign to all of the rightness of their cause, but even that cause is not enough to justify slavery and the subjugation of a creature of pure magic.

Should creatures of pure magic be drinking like this?

"And I don't care about your revolution," Grantaire says. "I'm only here for you. Where you go, I go. Where you rest, I rest. And so on. You can ride me wherever you like, but don't expect me to care about tyranny or the rights of men."

"And the rights of unicorns," Enjolras says. "Do you feel as if our magical soul bond is a fetter around your neck? Would you not prefer to be free, free to choose your own causes and your own riders, perhaps even ones that are not virgins? Do you not see how this is slavery for all unicorn-kind?"

"I did choose you," Grantaire says kindly. 

"But you must prefer freedom." Enjolras worries at his lip. He has never tried to convince a unicorn of the necessity of overthrowing the current regime, but it surely cannot be so hard? Unicorns are notoriously pure, choosing only those who are in turn pure in their convictions. They must always see the darkness so they can choose the light. Surely they must wish for the dawn more thoroughly than humans could. "You may have chosen me from a list of many possible candidates, but don't you see that being compelled to choose in the first place is an infringement on your fundamental--"

Grantaire sounds very much like a headache personified (unicornified?) when he laughs. Enjolras shudders as Grantaire's amusement bursts from the bond and drenches him from head to toe in telepathically-shared emotion. "By my horn, this is a first," he says. "Enjolras, be assured that I can gore you to pieces in seconds if I chose to."

"Oh." Enjolras is silent for a moment, then he considers. "But do you feel that requiring acts of violence to destroy a bond in turn destroys your right to choose to live a pacifistic life? I can compel you to kill either in word or deed, or simply by existing when you might prefer I would not, while you might prefer to never kill at all."

"I'm a unicorn," Grantaire says. "I think you might be missing the point."

"I am not," Enjolras says, insulted. "I have kept myself pure my entire life so that I might attract the help of your kind, my friend. I have studied you at length. But my desires cannot outweigh yours. That isn't how this works."

"That's exactly how this works," Grantaire says. He pushes his horn insistently against Enjolras's shoulder. "Do keep up, Perseus. I'm your loyal steed."

Enjolras fists his fingers in Grantaire's dark mane. It once was probably silken, but now it's slightly damp from the wine. "I'm going to keep trying to change your mind."

Grantaire huffs. "You are the strangest human I have ever met. I expect I shall die for you."

Enjolras recoils in shock. "No! Don't you dare!"

"And if I choose to?" Grantaire can't smile. He can't. He's a unicorn. They do not smile. Unicorns are mysterious and pure creatures of magic who hold themselves aloof from humans except for when they are under the control of their riders, and even then, they do not condescend to expressions. And, yet, Grantaire is somehow smirking at him. Somehow.

"This is going to be harder than I thought," Enjolras says. He's always liked a challenge, but he suspects that being soul-bonded to Grantaire is going to be the greatest, and most unexpected, challenge of his life. He pets Grantaire's horn sadly, thinking about the injustices of Grantaire's predicament.

"You'll get used to it," Grantaire says kindly and goes back to the wine cask.


End file.
